Top 10 Funny Quotes: Best ever

1. “When I die, I want to die like my
 grandfather who died peacefully
 in his sleep. Not screaming like 
 all the passengers in his car.” 




 2. “Politicians and diapers have one 
 thing in common. They should both
 be changed regularly, and for the same reason.




 3. “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”




4. Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry



5. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who finds such a man.



6. 

From a woman's point of view - The most perfect man in the world is her father. :) - The most abused husband in the world is her brother. :p - The most handsome man in the world is her son. ;) - The luckiest and happiest man in the world is her sister's husband. :D - The most thankful man in the world is her son in law. - And the worst, most selfish, heartless, total jerk and the man with worst behavior in the world is her husband.  7. Husband: can u be the moon of my life? Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..! . . . . . Husband: Great! then…. Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!   8. There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS... (i). HARD DISK Girls: Remember everything forever. (ii). RAM Girls: Forgets about you the moment you turn her off. (iii). SCREEN SAVER Girls: Just for looking. (iv). INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access. (v). SERVER Girls: Always busy when needed. (vi). MULTIMEDIA Girls: Makes horrible things looks beautiful. (vii). VIRUS Girls : These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE' once enters in your system don't leave even after format. 9. A Girl comes late to class. Teacher: Why are you late? Girl : One boy was following me, sir. Teacher: So, What? Girl : That boy was walking very slow. 10. Man: is there any medicine for long life? Doctor: get married man: will it help? Doctor: no, but it will avoid such thoughts